When I was four years old I was diagnosed with Portal Hypertension with esophageal varices. In simple terms, portal hypertension is an increase in pressure within the portal vein, and esophageal varices are enlarged veins in the esophagus that develop because of this increased pressure. The presence of esophageal varices poses a risk of bleeding, which is a serious complication of portal hypertension. I was constantly in the hospital receiving treatments so that I did not bleed to death. As a four-year-old this was very difficult to deal with, I did not understand what was happening to me, and I didn't really know why I was constantly in the hospital. All I knew was that I could not live a normal life, and this angered me. I was told not to do many things because it would risk causing increased internal bleeding. I was so angry with life I put my fist through my bedroom window.
So you may ask, how is this a story of rising from the ashes? Well, I'll tell you. My parents got me the help I needed. I went to a therapist, and I could talk about why I was so angry. I learned to better understand my anger and how to deal with it. Instead of being angry with the card I was dealt, I learned to look for things I can enjoy while living this abnormal life. I turned to Star Wars and art.
When I was in the hospital, I was confined to a bed the whole time so there was not much to do. But art was something that I could do to express myself. I loved to draw and I still love art. I don't think I would have the same love for art if it was not for my medical problems.
I have a massive love for Star Wars, I would watch it on repeat in the hospital. It meant the world to me. To have a world I could escape into that was so different from reality was critical during those dark times. Looking back on it today, these medical problems made me the person I am today. So weirdly I am thankful that I went through all those challenging times. My mom believes Star Wars kept me alive because it was one of the few things I truly had to look forward to. I remember waiting for the new movie to come out, Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. I was so excited to see a new one I had not already watched 100 times. By the time that movie released, I was six and had been through a lot, but little did I know my journey was far from over.
No matter what challenges you are facing you can conquer it. You need to look for the light within the darkness. My light was Star Wars and art. If you can find something that brings you joy at the end of a rough day, it will make all the difference. Looking forward to that time of day will keep you going. I still use that method to this day. Every night I have time set aside to play video games with my friends. It’s a time I look forward to, and it keeps me pushing through all the boring nonsense. If I am having a bad day, in the back of my mind I know that, I will get to do one of my favorite activities and just talk with the boys and have a good time.
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